Martika - Martika

After a nearly a month of blogs, I feel comfortable enough to let you into a secret. In short, I think it's time to let one of the skeletons out of my closet. It's getting rather full in there so it's probably good for me. I'm really embarrassed just typing these words, but I think you should know that, for a very brief time in 1989, I had a thing for Martika. Phew! There it is! It's out at last. Actually I feel much better already.
So how did this strange situation come to be? I would like to say that I was being post ironic but I think it had more to do with hormones, although at 18 I should've known better. Or perhaps it was a reaction to one of my friends liking Tiffany? What ever the reason, I was extremely protective of Martika, the album and the songwriting craft within it. Anyone who dared criticise it was in for a really harsh telling off.
Listening to it again....... well it's rubbish!. Really rubbish. About a minute into the first song 'If You're Tarzan, I'm Jane' I wanted to stuff the sofa cushions into my ears. The naff title should've been enough to warn me. But I'd started this catharsis so I had to finish the task. A bit like Hercules. Maybe. But with less bloodshed and more swearing. Actually if this were one of his labours I think he would've thrown the towel in by the time side two started.
The only slight saving grace is that there is a cover of the Carol King classic 'I Feel The Earth Move' but this is so drenched in electronic hand claps and synths it loses whatever semblance of emotion it had.
By the end of the album I was well an truly depressed - I'm sure that this was not the intention for listeners but after 40 minutes of upbeat, paper thin pop I found myself desperate to play a Leonard Cohen CD.
It's one skeleton that I am more than happy to let go - the further away the better. Next time I decide to delve into my closet please stop me. Right, now where is that Bruce Willis CD?............