The First Of A Million Kisses - Fairground Attraction

In previous blogs I have made several references to how carefully selected music can make one appear cooler than you actually are - carefully building an image track by track until a perfect lie is presented for all to see. But just as an image can be painstakingly constructed, it can also come crashing down with just one false move. That is all that it takes to destroy years of music makeover manipulation.

And so it was with 'Perfect' by Fairground Attraction. They we were, early in 1988, hanging out down at the swings at the bottom end of Clavering and I happened to mentioned that I had just bought this cool CD single called 'Perfect'. Now remember, at this point this was an unknown band with a freshly released single. Everyone was impressed that I was buying music before it had hit the charts. Another carefully constructed step to reinforce my image that I was cool. Then the single entered the chart and the next week down at the swings everyone was impressed that I had managed to select a song, ahead of the curve, that had now entered popular rotation on the airwaves. Cool status preserved....

....and then the song began its slow and laboured rise up the charts. It seemed to take forever and each subsequent visit down to the swings the admiration slowly, week-by-week, deteriorated into derision. Oh how I wanted the song to sink without trace, but no - it persisted in its climb up the Top 40. The higher it got, the more airplay it got, the louder the derision became until my carefully constructed image of coolness cracked, shattered into pieces and lay at my feet. Finally, in May 1988 the single reached the coveted No. 1 spot. But it didn't end there. Oh no. No siree. It got phenomenal airplay and then, just as I thought it could get no worse, it was picked up and used in TV advertising by Asda. Aarrgghhh! The problem was that it was so damned catchy - almost like a novelty song that bangs around your head for days despite repeated attempts to forget it. It'd be there when you woke up, follow you around all day, and be there - still as cheery as it was in the morning - as you went to sleep. It seemed to be oblivious to the mood you were in - feeling down, tired, upbeat or morose - it didn't matter. There it was - being obnoxiously happy.

That is not to say that it is a bad song, it just a little too perky to be ever present. The album it came from is excellent by the way, and there are many other far superior songs on there, such as 'Find My Love'. Unfortunately 'Perfect' is the only one that will be remembered and entered Fairground Attraction into the One Hit Wonder circus.

So please heed this cautionary tale and if you are planning to up your coolness quotient - take care and choose wisely. Being ahead of the game is risky business and not for the fainthearted. Pin your colours to the wrong mast at your own peril. Thankfully I have managed to reinstate my coolness but it has taken over twenty years. Oh I almost forgot - I must tell you about this new band I heard on Last fm...........