The Beatles (The White Album) - The Beatles

"They say it's your birthday
Well, it's my birthday too yeah
They say it's your birthday
We're gonna have a good time
I'm glad it's your birthday
Happy birthday to you"

I'm not one to critisise The Beatles, especially in the songwriting department, but whilst I totally agree the sentiment above I must take issue with its inaccuracies. "They say it's your Birthday. Well, it's my Birthday too yeah". What is all that about? Taking this at face value Macca seems to be suggesting that he shares a birthday with the subject of the song. Well I find that hard to believe. I mean what are the odds? I'm all for probability in song writing but this is going too far. Maybe we are expected to believe that he only seeks the company of those who share the same birthday? Mmmm doubtful at best.

But it wasn't just The Beatles who got into the musical mathematical musings with equally inaccurate results.

It has often been said the Kate Bush could sing the contents of the telephone book and make it sound sensual. Putting this, and here mathematical knowledge to the test, she sang PI. Surely this must be a first? Putting the famous transcendental number to music. I can't help but think this was a futile attempt. She only got to about thirty decimal places. If she true to her art then she would still be un the studio now, voice dry as the Sahara desert and kicking herself for starting the song in the first place. Mind you if she'd done that we'd have been spared '50 Words For Snow'.

Then, sensing that there was a gap in the market, Big Audio Dynamite had a go at explaining Einstein's famous mathematical equation E=mc2. It was a sterling effort and I'm sure the intricacies of the equation are much clearer for their effort;

"Ritual ideas relativety
Only buildings no people prophecy
Timeslide place to hide nudge reality
Foresight minds wide magic imagery"

.....yes that's much better. Glad we got that cleared up

Then, entering the world of astronomy Katie Melua decided to enlighten us with her musings on the size of the universe singing in 'Nine Million Bicycles';

"We are 12 billion light-years from
the edge,
That's a guess,
No one can ever say it's true,
But I know that I will always be
with you."

Thankfully her error was pointed out and she corrected the lyrics and therefore increased her accuracy.

"We are 13.7 billion light-years from the edge of the observable universe
that's a good estimate with well-defined error bars
and with the available information
I predict that I will always be with you".

Yes it doesn't scan as well but at least it's accurate. Or as accurate as we can be. With the current available information.

And maybe that's the whole point? Anyway I have digressed somewhat from my starting point. Don't blame me. Blame bad science in song writing.

Just as it's pointless trying to sing PI in a song, or explain complex physics equations in a three minute pop song, it's equally futile to point out the short comings of this album. Yes it's flabby, overlong and too introspective in places. But in between, like sun bursts on a cloudy and dim day, it shines. Gloriously.

So that just leaves me to say 'Happy Birthday' KC!